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The Hannah Marcus Years: 1993​-​2004

by Hannah Marcus

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1.
Demerol 03:57
What is your name Tell me child of grace, what is your name What a thing for an R.N. to say What is your name Here’s some Demerol to ease the pain Can you tell me what occurred today OK I was driving down the highway with my eyes closed When suddenly I felt this pain inside Now if I tell you there’s a paradise you must believe me even if its just the fluorescent light What have I missed I’ve never seen a ceiling Quite like this before How many souls have risen from this bed What are these hands If they cannot touch the things they love Tell me nurse what happens to the dead I was driving down the highway with my eyes closed When suddenly I felt this pain inside Now if I tell you there’s a paradise You must believe me Even if it’s just the fluorescent light I was driving down the highway with my eyes closed When I heard an angel fall Now if I say there’s a paradise Please Even if it’s just the Demerol Even if it’s just the Demerol Even if it’s just the Demerol Demerol Demerol Demerol Demerol
2.
I see the detail and the whole I talk and talk, where does it go into the rhythm of the seas Into the things that move and the things unseen And the humming of the ice machine Come on come on and live in me Come on come on and live in me tonight Dissolve my eyes Dissolve Deliver me to sight Deliver me Invisible bird Don’t you know that today is my lucky day I’ve burned all the icons of this Bitter bitter and useless faith I’ve tried for years to squeeze blood from a stone When all the while the stone was drawing blood from me And so I washed my hands out in the sea And watched the sea as it turned from Red to green red to green to green to green To the things that move and the things unseen To the humming of the ice machine Say come on and live in me Say come on and live in me To the things that move and the things unseen To the humming of the ice machine Say come on and live in me Come on come on and live in me tonight Dissolve my eyes Dissolve Deliver me to sight Deliver me tonight tonight to sight to sight to sight
3.
I lived for a while with a vampire snowman We had to keep the curtains drawn He loved us all throughout the evening But in the morning I sipped my tea alone. The house where we lived it was always freezing. The bed was as hard and as smooth as stone. We roamed through the halls like dogs in eden Till one day he walked into the arms of the dawn. “A kiss on the lips and I die if I will” Those were his words as he crawled up the hill He was a vampire whose time had come He was a snowman who stayed up to see the sun Like a baby in the womb breathing only water Like the first fish that crawled up from the sea to the shore Like the ice that melts into the river Somehow the unbearable will always be born But there’s a place in my heart where it’s always freezing A place in my heart where the blood never flows A place in my heart where it’s always evening A place in my heart where it always snows “A kiss on the lips and I die if I will” Those were his words as he crawled up the hill He was a vampire whose time had come He was a snowman who stayed up to see the sun “A kiss on the lips and I die if I will” Those were his words as he crawled up the hill He was a vampire whose time had come He was a vampire snowman who stayed up Stayed up to see the sun
4.
St. Jude 04:45
My grandfather sailed on a ship full of cows He landed in Brooklyn and rented a house Without his hard labor I would not be here now In Koreatown Los Angeles searching for you Sometimes I wander down to the church Sometimes I go down to the sea Sometimes I wander down to the Thrifty To buy me a candle for you Got no religion to call my own Show me a sign throw me a bone Drop me a line I’m out here alone Waiting for you to come Well it’s been a while But still I believe Still I believe I believe I believe I believe in St. Jude I don’t fear Satan, at least not right now Help me St. Jude Help me St. Jude All that I fear is this empty house Waiting for you to come Here at the crossroads down on my knees I’ve got the head of Elijah buried beneath me The star I just wished on turned into a plane I hear someone saying that all of my praying is in vain Could that be somebody calling my name Help me St. Jude Help me St. Jude When you are near me I’m not afraid I know that St. Jude will come I know that St. Jude will come
5.
Thank you for sharing that slice of pie! Every morning I smell the bakery across the street baking it. I can't help thinking as time goes by: I'm a middle aged man but still a piece of pie can make a difference in my life. You didn't have to twist my arm, seeing as it was my favorite kind - coconut. Coconut cream pie. It's the little things in a man's life. I see you're reading that famous book - The Catcher In The Rye. I read that book; I like that guy - what 's his name? You didn't have to twist my arm, seeing as it was my favorite kind - coconut. Coconut cream pie. Coconut. Coconut cream pie. It's the little things in a man's life, like a good slice of pie. Cream pie.
6.
I see people heading northward and people heading south Lily walks along the sidewalk drooling from the corners of her mouth People packing up their houses getting ready for the rain I hear some say that only weeds will remain… Or is it weeds and Lilies Or is it weeds and Lilies Or is is weeds And Lilies The teachers said that she was very special and The doctors scanned her brain And now she sits upon the freeway Tearing all the pages out of an old Woman's Day magazine I hear some say that we're transported and Others say we're just insane Others say that only weeds will survive the hurricane - Or is it weeds and Lilies that will remain Or is it weeds and Lilies after the big rain Or is it weeds And Lilies It's the second coming - this time he's got an artificial heart Lily walks along the sidewalk - things fall apart Well you say there's gonna be a new age I see you're packing all your little things You're bringing bread you're bringing roses Let me tell you when I'm gonna bring I'll bring the weeds and Lilies - cause that's my thing I'll bring the weeds and Lilies - cause that's what I'm gonna bring I'll bring the weeds and Lilies. weeds and Lilies. weeds And Lilies
7.
We were watching the warriors And it felt good We were watching the warriors fight And it felt good High resolution color Although there was no sound allowed We watched them kiss each other After a technical foul As the city burned down We were watching As the city burned down We were watching the warriors As the city burned
8.
Ariel 03:35
Ariel sits and waits for the minutes to rise Body wrapped up in colors as dark as her eyes Light as a bird and blind on the inside Ariel, Ariel On the mezzanine, she looks so happy now Ariel loves to go to the Cherry Hill Mall Double tie both her laces so she doesn't fall We walk around while dad makes a quick call Ariel, Ariel On the mezzanine, she looks so happy now Hey I know she sees some sights that I never will see Stares at the row of lights on a movie marquis Laughs at the parts where everyone's crying Hey wouldn't I like to be that free Dad says you've got to treat mom with kid gloves 'Cause she worries 'bout Ariel and me Ariel, Ariel On the mezzanine, she looks so happy now Ariel, Ariel On the mezzanine, she looks so happy now
9.
Osiris in pieces, Into the screen he stares And he builds his little cities where they don’t need any air And he lights his glass pipe And swivels in his chair And snickers as he says "what if I never?" What if I never? Maybe you can be the one To fluff up his soul To pick up the shards to stuff up the holes Maybe you can be the one To put it all together King warrior magician lover motherfucker whatever Motherfucker whatever Oh I can see your plumber crack As you ride off on you bike you don’t look back Go on and speed off in a snit Go on and suck your crystal tit You can’t fire me because I - I - Your ship’s so full of holes It won’t be long before it sinks And your heart’s not made of stone It’s made of shit and man it stinks And I’m long done choking On your sugar coated disrespect I’d like to rip your fucking throat out And plant a tree inside your neck A tree inside your neck Crank magic meltdown Could this be my last Crank magic meltdown? Could this be my last round?
10.
Darling how are you? How long has it been since I saw you? I know that something's over I know that something’s changed But something’s always over and always remains Darling I’m sorry I couldn’t be the woman you asked me to be I’m very very tired and I don’t want to fight but you hung up the receiver before I said -
11.
Six o'clock when I left the house A storm brewing over the San Gabriel mountains I closed the door but I didn't lock it I threw the keys right out Drove on through central valley and all the way to a dead end alley Walked into a warehouse, saw him coming down the stairs And I didn't eat or sleep for nearly a year The housekeeper with the Kandinsky tattoo Said the pains in her stomach were ulcers or flu But when she had the baby she swore it was his He said, honey there ain't no chance that it is But the DNA proved she conceived with that liar Turned out to be true about the night with the popsicle and the blow dryer We drove fourteen hours on only a quarter He'd snorted it all by the New Mexican border Said he wanted to tell his folks by himself So he asked if I'd please spend the night somewhere else And that's where I met that hairdresser in Taos. He said he'd dye it for free if I followed the van back to his house So I shadowed him down a road thin grey and still To his home in the desert - he called it. Blueberry Hill There was nothing in there but a big barber chair He stuck my head in the sink and put red dye all over my hair And when I sat up it ran into my eyes And I looked in the mirror and started to cry. I ran out of the house with the red dye still on I even left him my only copy of Blonde on Blonde And it seemed I'd parked the van in the middle of someone's lawn And the neighbors were starting to turn all their lights on I looked around there was no exit in sight I scanned to the left and I scanned to the right And I looked overhead at the furious stars in the night Burning red blue white burning red blue white red blue white Burning red blue white red blue white Burning red blue red blue red blue white Just like all my dreams they’re all tossed and scattered When it seems had I lost what mattered Lord if I could only find a road I'd take it Just like all my dreams they're all tossed and scattered Where it seems have I lost what mattered If I could only find a road I’d take it If I could only find a road If I could only find a road If I could only find a road I’d take it take it take it I’d take it on home I would take it take it take it take it on home I would take it take it take it take it on home
12.
Laos 05:00
He was a pretty boy, stayed at our house He took his girlfriend and they went off to Laos They took a photo there of his heart Some things you should never see Some things you should never see Some things you should never see but there they are At the last supper sits Jesus Christ Beneath his disciples fits some device Holding double A batteries on the side That make the halo circling around his head Twinkle on and off in red As he holds up a piece of bread and rolls his eyes Rolls his eyes How could that poet state such a phrase ‘Never look an angel straight in the face’ He knows they like to wait in the strangest places Motel rooms, pharmacies Photographs, batteries Some things you should never see Some things Some things you should never see but hey You see them anyway
13.
Stripdarts 05:51
When you got clean you took your loot And sunk it into dragonfruit You sunk it into dragonfruit So now you have become a desert farmer You cover up the rows with tarps So that the brutal sun won't scorch their tender hearts This desert heat is like a knife It cuts right though the layers of your life And in this desert there's a bar Where every afternoon they all play strip darts I see you in the corner drinking water And I'm sorry that I read your diary But you sure loved that girl it seemed to me The things I read, the things you said I never even said I never even said I never ever said to no one But just when you think your love's in vain Look out here comes the desert rain Look out Here it comes
14.
Beloved 03:54
LOVE SONG poem by Henry Dumas Beloved, I have to adore the earth: The wind must have heard your voice once. It echoes and sings like you. The soil must have tasted you once. It is laded with your scent. The trees honor you in gold and blush when you pass. I know why the North Country is frozen. It has been trying to preserve your memory. I know why the desert burns with fever It was wept too long without you. On hands and knees, the ocean begs up the beach, and falls at your feet. I have to adore the mirror of the earth. You have taught her well how to be beautiful
15.
Blue daisy By the IRT Blue daisy Are you a refugee Tossed out of Some all-night Korean grocery Blue petals No one to pluck you out Blue petals Got no one to pluck you out That's settled daisy ‘Cause I've got no one to pluck you out about Walking on the subway grates Counting license plates from out-of-state On Hudson and Reade Paramedics double-parked are getting headaches in the dark From smoking weed And I'm walking Down Seventh Avenue And I"m talking To a daisy that has been dyed blue Hey there baby How're you? Are you a daisy too? Are you a blue Blue daisy too Are you a blue Blue daisy too Are you a blue Daisy too?

about

The Hannah Marcus Years: 1993 - 2004 is a representative collection of material she produced over that time period. The compilation includes work Hannah made with members of Godspeed You! Black Emperor, drummer/producer Tim Mooney (of Toiling Midgets American Music Club and The Sleepers), Mark Kozelek, and others.

Someone said once about San Francisco in the nineties that you’d go out for a cappuccino and wake up eleven years later. This compilation is largely a psychic travelogue of those eleven years. A solid five years in the middle were spent in LA. The last four pieces were recorded in Montreal at the legendary old Hotel2Tango. But much of the material is psycho-geographically situated ‘Out West’ - specifically in the Bay Area of the mid-to-late 90’s, where the rent was cheap, the books were books, the S&M was DIY, and Meth reigned as devil king in restaurant kitchens. Mopey drummers doted on their candy-apple Mopars. (Speaking here of the late great Tim Mooney.) Dare to explore the dusky hallows of Sadcore and beyond!

credits

released April 5, 2024

Special thanks to Pat Thomas, Mark Lipsitz, Glenn M, Howard W, Michaela, and all the people dead alive and in-between who helped make the music on this compilation.

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Hannah Marcus Brooklyn, New York

Hannah Marcus is a songwriter, composer and olfactory experimenter
From New York City. She is now represented by a 40,000 year old kumquat who resides in the body vessel of notorious medium Lion Wintersea. Welcome.

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